At a Crossroads: When You Don’t Trust Yourself to Choose
Standing at a crossroads can feel paralyzing. The weight of a decision—knowing it may shape your future—can stir doubt, fear, and uncertainty. You might find yourself questioning everything: What if I choose wrong? What if I regret it? What if I’m not enough for the path ahead? When the stakes feel high, trusting yourself can feel impossible.
It’s okay to feel unsure. It’s okay to feel stuck. Decisions, especially life-altering ones, are rarely black and white. They often live in shades of gray, where the "right" choice isn’t always clear. But even in this uncertainty, there is a way forward.
Start by acknowledging where you are. The very fact that you’re grappling with this choice speaks to your awareness and care. You’re not taking this lightly, and that says something important about who you are. Honor that. Then, ask yourself: What am I afraid of losing? What am I hoping to gain? Sometimes the fear of making the "wrong" decision stems from a deeper fear of loss, vulnerability, or stepping into the unknown.
When you don’t trust yourself to choose, it’s often because you’re trying to guarantee an outcome. You want certainty, but decisions rarely come with guarantees. Instead, shift your focus from trying to predict the future to asking: What feels most aligned with who I am and what I need right now? Trust isn’t about knowing everything—it’s about listening to yourself, even when the path ahead feels unclear.
It can also help to sit with the choice. Imagine living each option for a day, a week, or even a year. How does each one feel in your body? What emotions arise? This isn’t about finding certainty—it’s about connecting with your intuition and noticing what feels expansive versus what feels constrictive.
Remember, no decision is truly final. Life is a series of choices, and each one leads to new opportunities, lessons, and growth. Even if a path feels "wrong" later, it will bring you closer to understanding yourself and your needs. You have permission to adjust, to change course, to grow as you go.
Exploration for Crossroads
Journaling Prompt: What do I fear most about this decision? What would I choose if fear weren’t a factor?
Reflection Question: What values feel most important to honor in this choice?
In Therapy: Explore the emotions surrounding your hesitation. What might they reveal about past experiences or unmet needs?
You don’t have to make the perfect choice—you just have to make a choice. Trust isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about believing that, whatever happens, you’ll navigate it. You’ve been here before, at other crossroads, and you found your way. You’ll do it again. Let’s explore this together.
